Psalm 42

The Lord reminded me in Psalm 42:

1 As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God.

2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?

3 My tears have been my food day and night,
while men say to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"

4 These things I remember as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go with the multitude,
leading the procession to the house of God,
with shouts of joy and thanksgiving
among the festive throng.

5 Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my saviour and my God.

Psalm 42 revealed the real me. I have been thinking what kind of person am I? Just like what verse 4 says, it says how I used to be. I used to be really strong and on fire for God, and building up my cell group & building up myself too. But as the time goes by, I lost the fire and my cell group started to break apart. And I started to rebuild myself and rebuild a new cell group too. As I read Psalm 42, it spoke right to me. All along, I missed the point where God is, where the center of my Life is at.

It matters to me a lot about things that are outside and not within me at all. About how do I present myself in front of people, and not wanting to let others see my flaws and ugly side of me. How people treat me, talk to me and all... I am really disturbed by many things that are outside of me but I did not search deeper for God. All along in China, I have been relying on myself knowing that I can do it and I can overcome it.

God taught me something new, something afresh, something that I have been searching for.. I did not fix my eyes in God and I did not place my hopes in God but on other things around me. When I placed my hopes on something, more disappointment will I get when I fail to see what I expected it to be.

But by fixing my eyes & placing my hopes in Him Alone, will I find rest. And no disappointment in God. Though Life still goes on and things happening to me may not be pleasant but God I pray that you will help me to fix my eyes on you.